Thursday, September 29, 2011

Swapples: Slacking Has Never Been More Fun

Similar to Bill Clinton, I like my games how I like my women: colorful, quick, and easy; because nothing kills a hard-on more than learning something new. And that's exactly why Swapples is the perfect match for underachievers of all ages. At a glance, Swapples may seem like nothing more than a rip-off of the age old classic game Bejeweled, and it is- if Bejeweled pounded HGH for breakfast, D-bol for lunch, and N.O.-Xplode for dinner.


The concept is the same: "swap" gems to match three or more gems of the same color vertically or horizontally, and score as many points as possible before the time runs out. And of course there are bonuses, such as time extenders, score multipliers, and becoming irresistable to women. So what separates these kissing cousins from being mere carbon copies of each other? The difference between the two resides in the competition (or lack thereof). In Bejeweled, you compete only against yourself; in Swapples, you are pitted head-to-head against up to five other players, each adding a unique element of unproductive and vastly entertaining excitement.

Each game lasts about 1-2 minutes, so in a single "slacking session" you can rub out quite a few games. I found myself spending far too much time swappling. Minutes will turn into tens of minutes, and tens of minutes will turn into hours as you swapple away your youth and virility for a new high score. Swapples is the perfect escape from studying, working, or living your life. Going outside will soon be completely eradicated as the shadow cast from Swapples envelopes the lives of the innocent. I'd be wary of the other games on that website though, most of them are absolutely terrible.